Thursday, March 15, 2018

Playing with Fire

It's so close,
I can sense the heat on my skin.
But yet I don't move.
I can't move.
I know I need to get away before the flames get closer,
but I like the feeling of the heat on my skin.

You know when you look at a flame,
like a flame in the fire place or even a flame on a candle,
you get mesmerized by it.
That's where I am at right now.
I don't care to be in the fire,
but the flames are so mesmerizing. 
I want to stand in front of it,
almost as close as I can,
and watch it.
I don't care to be in the fire,
but I care about the fire.

As I am standing in front staring at it,
it looks like its getting bigger and bigger.
I know it's becoming more than I can handle.
Slowly I can feel the heat
 radiating off of it more & more.
The embers and ashes start to land on me.
Then it's the battle of does the warmth feel good or does it hurt?

I stand right next to it,
knowing it's an unwise decision to do so.
I think of all the reasons why I need to get away.
I hear all the logical explanations people are telling me,
and why it's unsafe to be so close to the flame.
Those thoughts race through my mind,
 and now I battle the warmth I enjoy and the sensible reasons to get away
all at once.

I can't.
I can't wrap my mind around walking away from the flame.
Not yet.
The flame is seducing.
The flame has me captivated.
The thought of inching closer to the fire is dauntingly risky,
some may even say senseless and unwise,
but that doesn't stop me .
The heat is becoming overwhelming.
I'm overwhelmingly intrigued by it.

The fire has gradually increased right in front of my eyes.
I reach out to touch it
knowing it will be igneous.
I graze my hand over it and surprisingly,
its gentle to me.

I step closer.
Each step wanting to be apart of the flame.
In that brief second I'm not enthralled by the fire,
I go back to all the opinions and reasons why getting closer is reckless,
but it only last a second before the fire bursts into an even larger flame.
Only then do I become even more fascinated by it.

I am so devoted to the flames
that even thinking about stepping away now sounds heart shattering.
I care about the fire so much.
The thought of the flames dying out hurt more than
the burning of the embers and ashes on my skin.

In this hour,
I will remain still.
I will hold watch,
just to be certain the flame doesn't get put out.
Another step closer just to obtain a better feel of it.

Who will triumph?
Me or the fire?